I came disclosed as a lesbian in 1978 nearly four years after being ordained a Presbyterian minister.

I came disclosed as a lesbian in 1978 nearly four years after being ordained a Presbyterian minister. Dividing my time between Rochester, NY and San Rafael, Calif., I've performed centurys of stone-sex marriages. My colleagues at the Presbytery of the Redwoods--which operates 52 churches from Sausalito to the Oregon border have always accepted this, if it be not that when a minister from Washington State lodg a complaint they were forced to bring charges against me

I immediately called the Washington minister to discuss his relate tos "I believe one's sexual orientation is a gift, and you believe it's a sin," I said, starting from that basic premise. I told him in what way seriously I take relationships, explaining in what manner I meet with couples--regardless of their sexual orientation--for a year because I want them to have healthy, loving, and committed lives together. I was married to my ex-husband Jim before I came on the outside as a lesbian, and I've been in a committed relationship for 10 years, in such a manner I understand that all relationships ne like and support.

When the minister refused to withdraw his bear upons my presbytery decided to charge me with violating ecclesiastical authority regulations, based on two lesbian weddings I had performed in recently made known York and California.

During the trial I explained that I am circumscribe by conscience to use the words man and wifes give me. For a extended time I performed "blessings," "commitment ceremonies," and "holy unions." still now a lot of gays and lesbians are saying "marriage." I explained for what reason all relationships are sacred to me whatever you name them. And I perceive a huge responsibility to help bonds find the care and support they need

The sum of two units couples named in the charges--Annie Senechal and Sherrill Figuera, and Connie Valois and BJ Douglass--told their stories at the trial. I can still hear Sherrill saying to the commission, "If you have in no degree been in a place where you've not been accepted, you wouldn't understand."

This is what happens when in this way many faith communities keep saying "no" uniform though we keep hearing a resounding "yes" from our higher power, deity our creator--that still, small voice profound inside telling us we are lov and cherished. moreover the pain of the "no" eats at the "yes" we know to be veracious This painful break often means that many of us for our health and self-esteem--no longer want to be in places that are violent to who we are.

Fortunately, the decision of the Redwood Permanent Judicial Commission was prophetic and impudent In early March they rul 6-1 that I had not violated temple law by performing same-sex marriages. We finally heard not merely tolerance but true acceptance--an invitation to break down the barriers and live gone out loud. For that moment we heard a resounding "yes."--As told to Lois Pearlman

The venerable Spahr directs That All May Freely obey a group lobbying for ordination of gay and lesbian Presbyterians. She can be construct online at www.revjanespaht.org.

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